There once was a girl named Irene,

There once was a girl named Irene,

who lived on distilled kerosene.

But she started absorbin'

A new hydrocarbon,

And since then has never benzene!

Anom

There was a young man called Gus,

There was a young man called Gus,

Who never made any fuss?

When along came a flea,

That annoyed him you see,

And now he's in an upside down bus.

Dr Geebers

There was a young man with a cheque,

There was a young man with a cheque,

Who bounced it by mistake?

It bounced so hard,

The cheque got barred,

For being a pain in the neck.

Dr Geebers

There once was a fly on the wall

There once was a fly on the wall

I wonder why didn't it fall

Because its feet stuck

Or was it just luck

Or does gravity miss things so small?

Anom

There was a young man with a bike,

There was a young man with a bike,

Who rode it without a light,

When up a tree,

A monkey did see,

And sprinkled him with some delight.

Dr Geebers

There was a young lady of Ryde

There was a young lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.

Anom

I once took our vicar to tea;

I once took our vicar to tea;

It was just as I thought it would be:

     His rumblings abdominal

     Were simply phenomenal,

And everyone thought it was me.

Anom

If you’re lacking a little good cheer,

If you’re lacking a little good cheer,
Go and tickle a bull in the rear,
For I’m sure that the rumor
That they’ve no sense of humor
Is a product of ignorant fear.

GrahamLester.com

There was a young lady named Kite

There was a young lady named Kite

Whose speed was much faster than light.

She left home one day

In a relative way

 And returned on the previous night. 

Anom

There was a young lass from Australia

There was a young lass from Australia

Who painted her ass like a Dahlia

The shape it was fine

And the color devine

But the aroma--well, that was a faihlia 

Maurie Houseman

There was a young man with a beard,

There was a young man with a beard,

Who vanished and disappeared,

Into the sky,

But who knows why,

As everyone else they cheered.

Dr Geebers

Create a crazy limerick to link to your site.

Yes heres a chance to get your web site noticed.

Create a limerick, a five line poem about anything and send it along with details of your website to drgeebersthepebbleman@hotmail.co.uk

Only the best limericks will be considered.

Maybe your a poet/writer/musician or just a normal blogger.

This is for all of you so get writing.

Follow my blog or subscribe to it and who knows you might start getting more hits than you can imagine.

The more Limericks you write the more I can post and the more your website gets mentioned.

There was a dear lady of Eden,

There was a dear lady of Eden,
Who on apples was quite fond of feedin';
She gave one to Adam,
Who said, "Thank you, Madam,"

And then both skedaddled from Eden.

Laughoutloud.com

There was a young man, who was witty,

There was a young man, who was witty,

Who came to London City?

To see the sights,

Oh yes that’s right,

With blindness oh what a pity.

Dr Geebers

A painter, who lived in Great Britain,

A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knittin'
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench--well I
Just painted it, right where you're sittin.'"

Laughoutloud.com

There was a young man, who was telling,

There was a young man, who was telling,

His customers what he was selling?

With nose like a ball,

And soap on his stall,

Why couldn't he tell he was smelling.

Dr Geebers

There was a young man, who was right,

There was a young man, who was right,

About everything he seen day and night,

Until it just came,

With no one to blame,

And stole his bloody eye sight.

Dr Geebers

A silly young man from Clyde

A silly young man from Clyde
In a funeral procession was spied
When asked, "Who is dead?"
He giggled and said,
"I don't know; I just came for the ride."

Laughoutloud.com

There once was a child in spain

There once was a child in spain
Who loved to play in the rain
One day he tripped
And broke his hip
Now he is in serious pain.

LaughoutLoud.com

There was a young man, who was old,

There was a young man, who was old,

Who got a real bad cold?

When coughing away,

And sneezing each day,

His bogies became solid as gold.

Dr Geebers

There was a young man who was daft,

There was a young man who was daft,

Who built an invisible raft,

To float on the sea,

To say Jesus was he,

But it flipped, he drowned and they laughed.

Dr Geebers

An unfortunate girl of Algiers,

An unfortunate girl of Algiers,
Who was constantly weeping for years,
Saved the drops in a tank
That she kept in a bank,
Till some safe-breakers burst into tears.

Anom

This is the link to Crazy Limericks 4 U

This is the link to Crazy Limericks 4 U. http://crazylimericks4u.blogspot.com/.

Hope you all enjoy these crazy limericks for many artists.

If you would like your limerick on this page please email it to drgeebersthepebbleman@hotmail.co.uk .

I will put it up with a link to your site.

A schoolboy named Jeremy Hoff

A schoolboy named Jeremy Hoff
Found a little green man in his broth,
Who yelled, “Save me, don’t frown
I need help or I’ll drown”--
Then they both needed time to cool off.

GrahamLester.com

There was a young man, who was bold,

There was a young man, who was bold,

That was dying so he was told,

So he wrote out a will,

For his son Bill,

To leave him his bloody well cold.

Dr Geebers

Check out loads more Limericks on my blog Crazy Limericks 4 U from many well known artists and even some of my own work. Please enjoy.

There was a young man a sinner

There was a young man a sinner

Who thought he was a lottery winner,

So he jumped in the air,

Like he didn't care,

And slipped and fell in his dinner.

Dr Geebers

A war correspondent named Guido

A war correspondent named Guido
Was struck by a flying torpedo,
So they called up his boss,
Who deployed the Red Cross--
They found only a sleeveless tuxedo!

Anom

There was a young man, who did linger,

There was a young man, who did linger,

While pointing out with his finger,

So along came a hatchet,

And cut it and scratched it,

And now he looks a dead ringer

Dr Geebers

There was a bold pirate of Boulder

There was a bold pirate of Boulder
Whose cutlass was slung from his shoulder.
He’d mighty fine notions
Of plundering oceans,
But his mom said: “Perhaps, when you’re older.”

GrahamLester.com

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
She was frightened, it must be allowed,
Soon a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and meowed

Anom

There was a young man from Brazil,

There was a young man from Brazil,

Who climbed up to the top of a hill,

When looking down,

The stupid big clown,

He froze, from the shock of the thrill.

Dr Geebers

There was an old man with a beard

There was an old man with a beard
Who said, "it's just how i feared!-
Two owls and a hen
Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard.

Anom

There was a young man so hazy,

There was a young man so hazy,

Who was completely lazy,

When doing the splits,

He had us in bits,

Because he was totally crazy

Dr Geebers

There was once a smelly Queen

There was once a smelly Queen
Who was just naturally mean
Back in those days, they never took baths
In which they had to face terrible wraths:
They all smelled like rotton beans.

Anom

There once was a man from Peru

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
He woke with a fright

In the middle of the night
To find that his dream had come true.

Anom

There was a young man shouting peace,

There was a young man shouting peace,

So everyone could hear at least,

Until getting attacked,

As matter of fact,

By a big gaggle of geese.

Dr Geebers

There was a young man on the telly,

There was a young man on the telly,

Who had a really big belly,

When jumping around,

It bounced up and down,

Like a big wobbly jelly.

Dr Geebers

There once was a boy named Dan,

There once was a boy named Dan,
who wanted to fry in a pan.
He tried and he tried,
and eventually died,
that weird little boy named Dan.

Anom

There once was an artist named Saint,

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint.

Anom

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM TIBET

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM TIBET
WHO COULDN'T FIND A CIGARRETT
SO HE SMOKED ALL HIS SOCKS
AND GOT CHICKEN-POCKS
AND HAD TO GO TO THE VET

Anom

There was a young man on the edge,

There was a young man on the edge,

Of a ten foot building with a wedge,

When walking along,

He put a foot wrong,

And lost all his money in rage.

Dr Geebers

There was a young man on a phone,

There was a young man on a phone,

Who shouted with an incredible tone,

"You stupid brat,

Why do that,

Why hit me on the head with a stone".

Dr Geebers

The bicycling poodle he saw

The bicycling poodle he saw
Made the cop on the beat drop his jaw;
It was easy to tell
That it rode rather well,
Though its hand signals truly were paw.

GrahamLester.com

THERE ONCE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED BRIGHT

THERE ONCE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED BRIGHT
WHOSE SPEED WAS MUCH FASTER THAN LIGHT
SHE SET OUT ONE DAY
IN A RELATIVE WAY
AND RETURNED ON THE PREVIOUS NIGHT

Anom

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
WHO KEPT ALL HIS CASH IN A BUCKET
BUT HIS DAUGHTER NAMED NAN
RAN AWAY WITH A MAN
AND AS FOR THE BUCKET, NAN TUCKET

Anom

A bather whose clothing was strewed,

A bather whose clothing was strewed,

By winds that left her quite nude,

Saw a man come along,

And unless we are wrong,

You expected this line to be lewd.

Anom

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

Really liked playing with fire.

One night in the dark

He swam with a shark,

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

Anom

A limerick fan from Australia

A limerick fan from Australia

regarded his work as a failure:

his verses were fine

until the fourth line

?

Anom

An exceedingly fat friend of mine,

An exceedingly fat friend of mine,

When asked at what hour he'd dine,

     Replied, "At eleven,     

At three, five, and seven,

And eight and a quarter past nine.

Anom

There was a young man on a farm,

There was a young man on a farm,

Who only had one arm,

When counting his sheep,

The stupid young creep,

He pulled one with his charm.

Dr Geebers

Said the Vicar to old Bishop Price,

Said the Vicar to old Bishop Price,

My wife's just had twins,, ain't that nice.

But the Bishop said, "Father,

in future I'd rather,

you abstained, or were not naughty twice."

Anom

There Once was a Man called Reg

There Once was a Man called Reg

Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge

Along came his wife

With a big Carving Knife

And cut off his meat and two veg

Matt Barton

There was a young man from Peru,

There was a young man from Peru,

That was hungry for something new,

When seeing his chance,

He made his advance,

And got ate by a lion he knew.

Dr Geebers

There was a young girl from Rabat,

There was a young girl from Rabat,

who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;

It was fun in the breeding,

But hell in the feeding,

When she found she had no tit for Tat.

Terry Walsh

'Tis a favourite project of mine,

'Tis a favourite project of mine,

A new value of pi to assign.

I would fix it at 3,

For it's simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

Anom