Friday 11 May 2012

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY CALLED HOPE

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY CALLED HOPE
WHO TRIED TO LOOK YOUNG USING SOAP.
WHEN HER SKIN LOOKED QUITE OLD,
SHE RECALLED WHAT SHE'D BEEN TOLD,
THAT HER BEAUTY WAS ONLY SKIN DOPE!!

A STAGE STRUCK TEENAGER NAMED HUGH

A STAGE STRUCK TEENAGER NAMED HUGH
TOOK NIGHT CLASSES TO LEARN SOME KUNG FU.
HE SAID "YOU WILL SEE
I'M A SECOND BRUCE LEE"
HIS PARENTS SAID "A SECOND BRUCE WHO?"

Aurthers Limericks

I KNEW A YOUNG GIRL CALLED ELAINE

I KNEW A YOUNG GIRL CALLED ELAINE
WHO SPENT HER EARLY YEARS IN DEEP PAIN.
"MY NAME IS OLD FASHIONED,
I WANT SOMETHING PASSIONED,
I WANT TO GET CHRISTENED AGAIN"

THERE IS A YOUNG LADY NAMED ROSE

THERE IS A YOUNG LADY NAMED ROSE
WHO HAS MUSIC WHEREVER SHE GOES.
EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY
AT HER WORK, HOME AND PLAY,
HER WALKMAN KEEPS HER TAPPING HER TOES!!

Wednesday 9 May 2012

There was a young housewife from Des Plaines,

There was a young housewife from Des Plaines,
Who was playing with the family's Great Dane,
She said to her daughter,
'Bring a bucket of water,
I'm afraid that we're hung up again

An elderly roue named Clyde

An elderly roue named Clyde
Took an an eighteen year old as a bride
They took the old lecher
Out on a stretcher
But as he left he was smiling with pride

There once was a consumer named Phil

Submitted By: Pat Bents
There once was a consumer named Phil
Who really wanted to kill
A sly young vendor
Who mad him a big spender
And gave him a very large bill.

There was a young lady one fall

Submitted By: Bob
There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.




There one was a man from Peru,

Submitted By: LAURA BLACK
There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!

There was a young woman named Bright

(author unknown)There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

In a castle that had a deep moat

Submitted By: Merriam
In a castle that had a deep moat
Lived a chicken a duck and a goat.
They wanted to go out
And wander about
But all they needed was a boat.